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Yesterday marked four years of being clean and sober for me. If I’m honest, I didn’t even remember. It’s only that I saw it on my calendar. I’ve gone four years abstinent before so that’s probably why I wasn’t too phased about the occasion. I’ll probably feel more excited next year knowing that it’s a brand new milestone. Four years clean isn’t actually a very long time in the world of addiction recovery. However, my healing journey really started a good twenty-five years

I’ve spent most of my life, unconsciously, trying to prove that I’m worthy through “making” it; both financially and societally. For as long as I can remember I’ve had this inner drive to hustle and bustle – always looking for the next big thing that's going to somehow make me happy. I thought this drive and feeling of being unsatisfied was because I was a person who wanted a life of purpose, a purpose that involved helping people. In what way, I could never seem to really

For many years my life was filled with chaos, drama, and a string of bad relationships, both romantically and platonically. It didn’t matter who came into my life, the same pattern always seemed to play out; me over giving and over sharing, which always resulted in me feeling hurt, used and abused. For years I stayed trapped in this cycle because I believed that I was just a product of bad luck. I truly felt that I was a hard-done-by victim. I was placing all of the blame